The Wall Street Journal ran an interesting article on the expansion of Dunkin’ Donuts in Korea today, saying that the chain was looking to almost double the number of stores in South Korea, along with turn Koreans into morning coffee drinkers. We ask you, do Koreans really need any help with that?

There’s a few problems with the article, which confuses older and widespread promotional schemes like loyalty cards with new efforts. We’re also wondering where we can get those delicious-sounding soy doughnuts the article promises (we’re pretty sure they’re either talking about the pat-filled ones, or have confused them with the much-missed tofu doughnuts from Mister Doughnut) and note that like loyalty cards, seasonal and locally-oriented products have long been part of marketing the product here, and not just for DD. We really had to get a quote from a young woman saying that it’s cool that they used one of the biggest TV stars for their commercial? Is this kind of advertising surprising to anyone whose lived here for more than five minutes?

But the biggest mistake here may be the idea that Koreans don’t really jive with coffee yet, and that the new commercials and roastery mean an attempt to create a new market, rather than cater to one that already exists.  They’re not aquiring new tastes, but having the ones they already have catered to.

Let’s get this clear: Koreans love coffee.

And not just any coffee ~ fancy, freshly roasted, hand dripped, 6000 won cups of organic pleasure. Offices across the land are equipped with drip coffee makers and instant packets. Men and women from Uijeongbu to Mokpo meet, date, chat, study, and work over cups of coffee. And frankly, Fatman wishes the WSJ would tell Koreans that they’re not supposed to like coffee in the morning on the way to work, so we could get our cup of joe without waiting forever in line behind all those locals who apparently don’t need their morning fix.

What the article (and apparently the upper management) failed to grasp is not that Koreans are being persuaded into new consumption habits or using new marketing strategies, but that the place and meaning of Dunkin’ Donuts (and many other western chains) is radically different here. Koreans won’t grab doughnuts and run because that’s not what DD is here for. People grab and run with doughnuts from the stateside branches because they’re older, uncomfortable, unwelcoming, and built to make people leave. If the international management is trying to encourage their Korean customers to do the same, they’ve got a lot of remodeling to do to make their stores nasty enough to make the office workers want to get up and leave . . .

So, hungry readers, what do you think? Was the WSJ off the mark? Is DD’s international management out of the loop? And are there really soy bean doughnuts in the case?

Tip of the fat hat to B in J (Again. Doesn’t he ever sleep? How does he always find these things first?)