muchas gracias, dunkin' donuts!

The good news is that some of these are much better than you’d expect.  The Greek yogurt filled donut doesn’t have the full flavor of real greek yogurt, but it does have that yogurt tang to the filling.  Kimchi and lentil croquettes are competent, although they still taste pretty much identical to the ones you find at Paris Baguette and Tour le Jour and just about every other bakery in Korea.   The other Indian donut is too overpowered by the chocolate glaze to have much lentil flavor (we’re inclined to think this is a good thing) while the bean-y-ness of the “콩” flavored old fashioned is pretty subdued.   As a matter of fact, only two donuts impressed us particularly, albeit in equal and opposite directions.  Let’s start with the good, shall we?

The garlic and olive oil coffee roll was an unexpected success. Although the garlic flavor could never be mistaken for anything but artificial, it was largely non-offensive, like a little sprinkle of garlic salt on your morning toast. Combined with the sweet glaze, it actually made for a fun sweet-salty interplay of flavors. Best of all, there was a real drizzle of olive oil over the whole thing before glazing, adding a little bit of rich olive taste and an intriguing mouth-feel to the donut. It’s actually . . . well, kind of edible. We might be tempted to order this once in a while, if they were out of our traditional favorites.
Equally intriguing, but not in a good way, was the mysterious and coy bean-filled Japanese donut. Fatman was certainly curious ~ Koreans already use beans, mostly black beans, in a wide variety of foods with often tasty results . . .

But what kind of cruel trick is this donut?!? Where usually one finds a nice Bavarian creme or splodge of jam was an incomprehensibly flavored sludge. We wracked our brain (and frantically scraped our tongue) for answers. The Korean ad campaign and information identifies it as 콩, or bean. That’s pretty non-specific, so we looked for further clues. The bag it was served in was labeled “소이” Ok. Soy. Soy beans. But that still didn’t explain the unconquerable awfulness assaulting our taste buds. Then, we looked down on our tray and saw a little description of each donut, and learned the terrible truth: 낫또. That’s right. DD made a natto-cream donut and foisted it upon the innocent. NATTO!

Now, this is not an objection to natto, per se. We actually kind of enjoy the stringy, oozy, gooey beans. But this donut just isn’t right . . .the natto has been mashed into some kind of mushy paste, loosing the distinctive texture. Do you know what that leaves you? The flavor, mashed and masked with whatever sweet additives, preservatives, and miscellaneous junk it takes to turn it into a donut filling. This was wrong, wrong, WRONG on every level.
It was so wrong, we encourage you to try it yourself. Or at least foist it on some unsuspecting friend whose horrified response you can videotape.

The sopa pararaguaya is a real highlight ~ imagine, if you will, creamed corn made solid, or the creamiest, soupiest corn bread imaginable. With a little earthy sweetness of onion and corn and the savory edge of cheese, this bread is true comfort food. Meanwhile, the chipa packs a bit more cheese flavor into a much more compact package, but may be too dry for some diners tastes, with a distinctively solid crumb.

But what most people come to Comedor for are their selection of empanadas. These fried pastries can be sweet or savory, but it’s the meaty later that grace the plates here.

Ordered as a set or individually, the empanadas are a great, cheap, and filling lunch. Beef, chicken, ham and cheese, and corn are all available, with thick, gooey cheese spilling out of most of them (our apologies to the lactose intollerant – only the beef comes without) and crisp pastry shells. The only thing they won’t be kind to is your waistline. Corn was a particular favorite, with the sweetness of the corn lightening and sweetening the entree, and beef also won out for its prominent meatiness.

One alley south of the main drag by Itaewon Station (and just across the way from the Wolfhound), Comedor is run by an ethnic Paraguayan (and naturalized Korean) so the food is about as close to authentic as you’re going to get in these parts. Service can be a bit distracted, but is generally pretty friendly.  It has a bit of a low key “lunch counter” vibe, but attracts some pretty prestigious company, including the Ambassador of Paraguay. If it’s good enough for him, it should be good enough for you. It will also be good enough for your wallet, with most everything under 5,000 won.
02-749-2827

Mammoth Bakery is just off the main square in downtown Andong, near the Pizza Hutt and Shinhan Bank. Baked goods start from 1,000 won, with cakes starting in the 15,000 range, sandwiches around 3,500 won, and espresso drinks are very reasonably priced at around 3,500 as well.

Read more about places to wine and dine in Andong over at our Hub of Sparkle write-up!

If this is what it takes for animals to become human, Fatman is staying wild and free. The tiger had the right idea . . . it isn’t worth becoming a woman if you’ve got to eat this stuff to do it! Mugwort is an herb thought to be good for all kinds of folk medicine like thinning the blood, and Koreans have long used it for its herbaceous flavor and ability to give food a deep green color.
But what’s good for the ddeok isn’t necessarily good for the doughnut.
This was hands down one of the worst doughnut ideas ever conceived, and the execution is worse. Bitter, unpleasantly herbaceous, and coated with sugar, we’d just as soon stay in the cave. Forget being the founder of the entire Korean race – just give us something to wash away the taste! Just look at the horror on this poor bear’s face at the thought of being locked away with that doughnut for 100 days!

Our advice (and that of Ms. Bear) is to stick with the hot and now original doughnuts for which Krispy Kreme is justly famous.

And, eat your garlic.

1 loaf crusty bread, cubed and left overnight to become stale
1 small head of bok choy (Brassica rapa chinensis – chinese chard, chinese mustard, celery mustard, spoon cabbage), chopped
1/3 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (about 75-100 grams)
1/4 cup melted butter (60ml)
salt, pepper, and sweet paprika to taste

Combine stale bread, bok choy, and nuts in a large bowl and toss together.  Drizzle butter over the mixture and give it another toss, season to taste, and toss again.  Stuff into the main cavity of a whole turkey, chicken, or duck and roast as directed.  If there is extra stuffing, place giblets and other organs (or wings/drumsticks or 1/2 cup chicken stock) in a cheesecloth bag on top of the stuffing in a oven-proof dish covered for 20 minutes at 325 degrees Fahrenheit (165 C), then remove foil and roast another 5-10 minutes until golden brown.

image courtesy Naver

7 brands of hard tack manufactured in China contain, what else?: Melamine.  While the amount contained therin is not enough to make an adult sick, you probably shouldn’t go around chowing down on it.  Fatman has already talked about hardtack’s unique history here.  We’ve also got a running tally of foods in Korea known to have been contaminated here and here.

한국의 제과점은 계절이 바뀔 때마다 좀 더 새롭고 좋은 맛의 빵을 선보이기 위해 애쓴다. 시시각각 변하는 대중의 입맛을 사로잡기 위해, 각 제과점은 항상 고객이 선호하는 맛을 찾으려 노력하고 또, 그들이 자신들이 만든 빵에 빠질 수 있도록 노력한다. 대형 제과점에서 이번 여름을 겨냥하여 출시한 것에 대해서는 몇 주 후에 좀 더 깊이 다루도록 하자.

지난 주 Tour les Jours에서 단 것을 많이 먹어 지친 혀를 위해 휴식의 시간을 가진 후, 비로소 Fatman은 다음 도전을 시작할 수 있었다. 이번엔 파리바게뜨의 Summer Donut Selection이다.

Paris Baguette, along with its sister Paris Croissant and Paris Baguette Cafe stores have shown themselves to be the class act of the bakery brigade. Like the popular girl in class, PB and PC always seem to have the coolest, freshest looking outfit. The design of the stores is clean, sleek, and elegant, and the baked items do their darnedest to emulate.

파리 바게뜨는 계열사인 파리 크라상과 파리 바게뜨 카페 함께 제과업계에서 경쟁력 있는 모습을 보여왔다. 마치 반에서 인기있는 소녀처럼, 파리 바게뜨와 파리 크라상은 가장 맛이 좋고 신선하다는 인식을 대중들로부터 얻고 있다. 파리바게뜨는 깨끗하고 고급스러운 점포의 디자인과 함께 맛 좋은 빵으로 제과업계에서 경쟁력을 키워가고 있다.

PB has also done a good job staying abreast of taste trends, and the berry theme of the summer hasn’t passed them by. They’ve baked up several donuts using those tasty fruits, including a pink berry heart (similar to the Dunkin’ Donuts offering), and a pink berry choux donut. There’s also a bit of Americana lurking in the cherry-filled donut:

파리 바게뜨는 최근의 맛의 흐름도 잘 맞춰가고 있다. 그 예로 여러 종류의 베리를 이용한 도넛을 만들어 냈는데, “던킨 도너츠”의 것과 비슷한 “pink berry heart”나 “pink berry choux donut” 등 다양하다. 또한 파리 바게뜨에서 미국식 “체리 도넛”도 찾을 수 있었다.

Of all the donuts on offer at PB, this is the only one Fatman would willingly consume again, but that’s only if we were really, really desperate for a fruit-filled donut. There wasn’t anything particularly bad about the risen dough, and the cherry filling was nice and tart but the whole effect was spoiled by too little filling and way, way, WAY too much powdered sugar. The sweetness was overpowering.

Fatman 개인적으로는 파리 바게뜨의 도넛 중에서 체리 도넛이 가장 무난하다고 생각한다. 도넛 반죽에서도 특별한 문제점은 없었고 도넛 안에 들어있는 체리도 괜찮았다. 하지만 전체적으로는 체리가 너무 적게 들어있었고 설탕이 너무 많이 들어있었다. 단맛이 너무 과했다.

Likewise, the “pink berry heart” (a thinly disguised version of the Dunkin’ Donuts’ more established one) is not patently offensive, and the cream filling is really quite good. But the icing is too thick, too sweet, and tastes only vaguely of artificial berry flavoring. The dough for this donut may have been fried just a tad too long, also, and left our hands greasy. Unfortunately, there was worse to come . . .

또 “pink berry heart”도 분명히 맛이 없진 않았고 도넛 안에 든 크림도 꽤 괜찮았다. 하지만 도넛에 너무 많은 아이싱이 올라가 있었고, 또 너무 달아서 인공적인 맛을 너무 강하게 만들었다. 이 도넛의 반죽은 다소 오래 튀겨진 감이 없지 않았고, 그래서 기름기가 많이 묻어 나왔다. 하지만 여기에서 끝이 아니다.

The pink berry and choux donut is so noxious, so awful that if stranded on a dessert island and forced to choose, Fatman would rather eat Tour les Jours’ strawberry-blueberry donut. And that’s saying something! This sickening concoction consists of the same risen-dough (PB seems to be concentrating on these, rather than the cake style donuts that prevail at Tour les Jours) but filled with an absolutely inedible “choux” filling that bears no resemblance to the light filling of the traditional choux pastry. It’s more akin to rancid cream style yogurt – sickeningly sweet and sour. The thick, glue-like icing was pure, unadulterated sugar mixed with yogurt, sadly wasting the only appetizing thing about it: thin chips of real, dried berries. Fatman could weep.

“pink berry choux donut”는 평균 이하였다. 만약 Fatman이 무인도에 갇혀서 어쩔 수 없이 선택해야 한다면, 차라리 뚜레주르의 “strawberry-blueberry donut”을 택하겠다. 반죽은 다른 도넛과 같지만 도넛의 안은 슈크림으로 채워져 있다. 일반 슈크림빵에 쓰는 슈크림이랑은 다른, 먹지 못하는 슈크림을 쓰는 것 같았다. 슈크림빵보다는 오히려 약간은 먹기 힘들 정도로 발효된 요거트의 맛이라고 할 수 있다. 도넛 위의 아이싱은 요거트를 혼합한 설탕으로 만들어졌는데, 이것이 오히려 베리의 맛을 떨어뜨리는 것 같았다. Fatman은 거의 눈물이 날 지경이었다.

Though not the worst, at least the “cool mango soft” muffin was the last. Unfortunately, the bakery serves these pre-swathed in plastic, so the surface of the muffin had gone soft and gummy. Our hopes were raised by the naturalness of the color – truly like the inside of a ripe mango – but the taste wasn’t all that could be hoped for. It has some natural overtones of fruit, but unfortunately this is all overpowered by the excessive sweetness of the sponge cake/muffin. The domed interior conceals a thin layer of mango pudding on top of mango-flavored cake, but none of them have the creaminess or smooth joy of the real fruit. One of our tasters described it as, “the aftertaste of mango, not mango itself. Kind of like a mango that sat out in the sun too long and putrefied.” We’re not sure what about this qualifies as cool, but perhaps if you’re a big fan of soft bread and overripe mango, you’ll enjoy this.

최악은 아닌 “cool mango soft muffin”이 마지막이다. 안타깝게도 미리 포장돼 있어서 머핀이 눅눅하고 끈적끈적했다. 잘 익은 망고의 색깔이 그나마 우리에게 조금의 위안을 주었다. 하지만 그렇지 않았다. 이 머핀은 과일의 맛을 담고 있지만 머핀의 너무 강한 단맛으로 인해 제 맛을 내지 못했다. 망고맛 케이크 위에 망고 푸딩이 한 겹 숨겨져 있었지만 천연과일 그대로의 부드러운 맛을 내지는 못했다. 머핀을 같이 맛본 사람 중 한 명은, “망고의 끝 맛은 망고가 아닌 것 같다. 마치 햇볕에 너무 오래 둬서 썩어버린 망고 같다.”라고 맛을 표현했다. 만약 여러분이 눅눅한 빵과 오래된 망고를 좋아한다면 이것을 한번 먹어보길 바란다.

Fatman hopes that the fall specials will help take away the taste of that pink berry and choux donut – until then we’re afraid we’ll be tasting it in our nightmares. At least they were cheap, clocking in at a modest 1000원 per each.

Fatman은 다가오는 가을 특집으로 “pink berry choux donut”에 대한 좋지 않은 기억을 떨쳐버릴 수 있었으면 한다. 그때까지는 다들 꿈에서 맛보게 되지 않을까 걱정하는 수밖에. 그래도 가격은 저렴하다. 개당 1000원.<Korean by MAXZEST>

한국의 제과점은 계절이 바뀔 때마다 좀 더 새롭고 좋은 맛의 빵을 선보이기 위해 애쓴다. 시시각각 변하는 대중의 입맛을 사로잡기 위해, 각 제과점은 항상 고객이 선호하는 맛을 찾으려 노력하고 또, 그들이 자신들이 만든 빵에 빠질 수 있도록 노력한다. 대형 제과점에서 이번 여름을 겨냥하여 출시한 것에 대해서는 몇 주 후에 좀 더 깊이 다루도록 하자.

Tous les Jours has increasingly been making a serious bid for the top baker slot, with some hard-core promotions going on. Like many bakeries, they’ve noticed the rise in the popularity of donuts and have started making their own in-house versions. And with berries as the flavor trend of the summer, it was inevitable they’d try their hand at making some berry adventurous combinations . . .

뚜레주르는 좋은 상품을 앞세워 제과업계의 선두자리를 차지하기 위해 노력하고 있다. 다른 제과점과 마찬가지로 최근 늘어나고 있는 도넛의 인기를 파악하여 도넛 판매에 열을 올리고 있다. 베리류는 올 여름 맛의 트랜드로 자리잡은만큼 뚜레주르도 여기에 빠지지 않고 베리를 이용한 여러가지 시도를 했다.

Witness the blueberry and strawberry flavored donut. Strawberry is a summer classic, and blueberries have been a major trend for nearly a year now, so it was perhaps inevitable they’d meet for a singular swirl of flavor. No reason to keep two great tastes apart, is there? Maybe not, but this particular donut may not have been the right place for them to meet. There’s nothing wrong with this donut conceptually, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. The cake donut lurking underneath it all is ok: soft, slightly sweet, and with a good density, and not too moist or greasy. But the poor thing was then drizzled a bit too thickly with a sickeningly sweet sugar glaze, and finally topped with one of the most noxious edible powders ever. Scratch that – Fatman’s not sure it’s edible. Perhaps we should have been warned by the neon coloring . . .? The taste is overwhelmingly artificial. One of our testers compared it to cheap bubblegum flavoring. Our only guess for why Tour le Jour would unleash this beast on an innocent population is to raise sales of coffee – it took several strong shots of espresso to get the god-awful taste out of our mouths.

새로운 시도 끝에 탄생한 것 중 하나가 바로 “블루베리 딸기 도넛”이다. 딸기는 매년 여름마다, 그리고 블루베리는 최근 일 년동안이나 꾸준히 인기있는 베리류이다. 그러니 이토록 멋진 두 가지의 베리를 혼합해볼 생각을 하지 않을 이유가 없지 않은가. 앞서 말한 것처럼 이론상으로는 분명히 둘도 없는 찰떡궁합이었지만 실제로는 조금 달랐다. 도넛 빵은 부드럽고 적당히 달콤해서 괜찮았고, 너무 마르거나 기름지지도 않았다. 하지만 문제는 빵 위에 입혀진 설탕옷이었다. 그리고 거기에 첨가된 식용 파우더도 문제였다. Fatman은 그것이 식용이라는 데에 의문이 생겼다. 어쩌면 이 도넛에는 경고문을 부착해야 할지도 모르겠다. 도넛은 인공적인 맛이 매우 강하게 났다. 우리 중 어떤 이는 그 맛을 ’싸구려 풍선껌의 그것’에 비유하기도 했다. 뚜레주르가 왜 이렇게 맛 없는 도넛을 내놓았을까? 아마도 그 나쁜 맛을 떨쳐내기 위해서는 몇 잔의 커피를 마셔야 하기 때문인지도 모르겠다.

Our second shot at donut delight was a diabetic’s nightmare: The maple pecan donut is the same sweetish cake donut coated with a sugar glaze, another thick layer of icing, dotted with pecan chunks and finally drizzled with an excessively generous amount of maple toffee. It was essentially a little bit of cake and nut surrounded by enough sugar to give any sane person a toothache just thinking about it. That said, the flavor wasn’t as patently offensive as the strawberry and blueberry donut – it’s just that sweet was the only flavor to come through. One taster said that if they concentrated hard enough, there might have been a little nutty, maple tinge to it all, but they weren’t sure. Fatman thinks it was their imagination. Sugar bomb doesn’t even begin to describe it. Dentists are picketing the chain as we speak.
Not all was a complete loss. The donuts may have been a loss, but there were some edible bits yet . . .

두 번째로 우리가 맛 본 것은  거의 당뇨병 환자가 꾸는 악몽과도 같았다.  메이플 피칸 도넛이 바로 그것인데, 여느 도넛과 비슷한 빵 위에 설탕옷을 입히고 그 위에 다른 종류의 아이싱이 더해진 도넛이다.  그리고 또 거기에 피칸과 메이플 토피가 더해진다. 메이플 피칸 도넛은 빵이나 견과류에 비해 지나치게 많은 설탕 때문에 먹는 내내 치과에 대한 생각을 떨쳐버릴 수가 없었다. 그것은 블루베리 딸기 도넛에 비하면 그렇게 지나치게 강한 맛은 아니었다.  단지 단 맛이 전부였다. 같이 맛을 본 사람 중 하나는, ‘만약 좀 더 집중해서 도넛을 먹었더라면 도넛에 견과류와 메이플이 들어간 것을 어렴풋이 알아차릴 수 있을지도 모르겠다.’ 라고 말했다. 설탕덩어리는 다른 재료의 맛을 모두 빼앗아 버렸다. 우리가 말한 이런 이유로 치과의사들이 이러한 제과점을 좋지 않게 보는 것이다. 하지만 모두 다 별로인 것은 아니었다. 물론 앞서 말한 것들은 별로였지만 또 어떤 것들은 괜찮았다.

While everybody else has been rushing to sweeten up their croquettes, Tous les Jours has gone for a more savory approach with their seafood tomato version. Essentially an upscale pizza-pocket, this rendition still has a lot to recommend, from its deep and rich tomato sauce, to the little bits of shrimp and clam tucked away inside. The crust is nice, with little crunchy bits adding a bit of zest to the chewing experience. It’s not too too greasy either, so there’s not much need for blotting before consumption. There are definitely worse things to spend 1300 won on. As a matter of fact, skip the overpriced donuts (1500-1800 won depending on flavor) and go straight for another one of these.

다른 곳에서는 크로켓을 좀 더 달게 만드는데 힘을 쏟았지만, 뚜레주르에서는 해산물과 토마토를 이용한 새로운 시도를 했다. 토마토 소스의 깊고 풍부한 맛에서부터, 새우와 대합을 씹는 맛에 이르기까지… 추천할만 하다.  빵은 적당히 구워져 씹는 맛이 일품이었으며, 기름기가 그렇게 많지는 않아서 먹을 때 손이 더러워 질 일도 적었다. 가격은 1300원이다. 참! 도넛은 맛에 따라서 1500~1800원인데, 차라리 다른 걸 선택하길 바란다. <Korean by MAXZEST>

Kaya, it turns out, is also a delicious treat from Southeast Asia. This dense coconut custard-style jam is a green, creamy delight that Singaporeans and Malaysians have long been using to top their toast. Taken with thick, sweet coffee or tea, it’s a quintessential breakfast treat made with coconut, eggs, and pandan or sugar. And with Seoul seeing an explosion of international foods and chains opening their doors to our hungry citizens, it was only a matter of time before this oozy treat made its way to our streets.

Kopitiam Kaya Toast gives you kaya toast done up in several different styles: Thick or thin, with kaya, chocolate spread, cheese, or peanut butter. Fatman’s particular favorite is the thin kaya toast for the crispy and toothsome wholemeal toast sliced razor thin to cradle thick slabs of salty butter that melt dreamily into the custard-y kaya. The bread is just chewy and crispy enough to make chewing a joy of contrasting texture against the gooey insides, and the saltiness of the butter adds a key savory note to keep it all from being overwhelmingly sweet. While those in Singapore and Malaysia may treat this as a way to start their day, Seoulites have turned this into a hopping spot for afternoon munching and evening lounging.
In addition to toast, Kopitiam offers the usual range of coffee and tea drinks at the usual prices. Still, if you’re looking to complete your experience, there’s a small selection of drinks done ala Singapore. Both the coffee and teas are exceptionally thick and strong and sweet. Brace yourself, they are big and bold even when served in small cups. They’re not merely bracing, they’re practically a meal in and of themselves.

Kopitiam Kaya Toast has opened two stores in Seoul: The first is at Chonggye 2-ga, overlooking the stream, and the second is just outside exit 2 of Ewha Women’s University Station as you head towards the campus. Both aim for a chill, exotic vibe with lots of rough-hewn planking and ceiling fans to recall the steamy South Asian climate, and are strewn with magazines singing the praises of the city-state. Toast starts at 2500 won, and coffee and tea drinks start from 3000 won.
Their rival chain, Ya Kun, also runs two stores here in Seoul: One in the basement of the Seoul Financial Building (City Hall Station, lines 2 and 4), and the other in the basement of the Kangnam Finance Center.

Basically, hardtack is a very dry, thick cracker made from flour, water, and salt mixed together and baked over and over again until there’s no moisture left. Because it’s so dry, it will keep almost forever – during the Civil War, soldiers ate hardtack left over from the last war (the Mexican-American War) almost twenty years earlier! They would dunk the biscuits in coffee or water and wait for the bugs to float to the surface, skim them off, and proceed to eat the moistened bread.

(Fatman wonders why they didn’t eat the bugs – they’re good protein!)

There was even a song about hardtack (sung to the tune of “Hard Times, Come Again No More”)

Let us close our game of poker, take our tin cups in our hand
As we all stand by the cook’s tent door
As dried monies of hard crackers are handed to each man.
O, hard tack, come again no more!

CHORUS: ‘Tis the song, the sigh of the hungry:
“Hard tack, hard tack, come again no more.”
Many days you have lingered upon our stomachs sore.
O, hard tack, come again no more!

‘Tis a hungry, thirsty soldier who wears his life away
In torn clothes—his better days are o’er.
And he’s sighing now for whiskey in a voice as dry as hay,
“O, hard tack, come again no more!”

— CHORUS

‘Tis the wail that is heard in camp both night and day,
‘Tis the murmur that’s mingled with each snore.
‘Tis the sighing of the soul for spring chickens far away,
“O, hard tack, come again no more!”

— CHORUS

But to all these cries and murmurs, there comes a sudden hush
As frail forms are fainting by the door,
For they feed us now on horse feed that the cooks call mush!
O, hard tack, come again once more!

FINAL CHORUS: ‘Tis the dying wail of the starving:
“O, hard tack, hard tack, come again once more!”
You were old and very wormy, but we pass your failings o’er.
O, hard tack, come again once more!

Almost nobody in America eats hardtack much anymore (except Alaska) but it’s a common snack now in Korea! American soldiers brought it with them as rations at the end of World War II and during the Korean War. Next time you’re in the grocery store, pick up a piece of history and enjoy some 건빵 geonbbang! Or you can make your own at home: