FatManSeoul

How can something that is 80% a good idea end up going so very wrong?

The Cafe formerly known as Sobahn has reopened as Bibigo*. Along with Zen Kimchi, Fatman was involved in some early test marketing for both Cafe Sobahn and the new Bibigo concept. A concept that was really, roundly panned for having a silly name. Apparently, once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your marketing. Read the rest of this entry »

Tipping the fat hat to Brian in Jeollanam-do, who has already put up excellent posts on the subject here and here, the JoongAng Daily reports that the Korean government has had to do a wee bit of backpedaling on the whole “drunken rice” thing, thanks to some Netizen tongue-lashing:

The Ministry for Food, Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries held a public contest to develop an official English-language nickname for makgeolli, and last week it announced the winner: “Drunken Rice.” In second and third place were “Makcohol” and “Markelixir.”

The ministry said in release earlier that the nickname should be easy and fun for foreigners to pronounce, and pledged to use the winning name in its marketing activities.

Soon after the results were released, however, the ministry’s Web site was bombarded with postings criticizing the move.

“Unlike in Korea, where alcohol drinking is generously accepted by society, the English word ‘drunken’ conveys considerably negative connotation. Besides, would you find it easy to understand wine if its origin countries called it ‘drunken grape’?” wrote Choi Hae-su.

Another citizen, Lee Jae-hong, wrote, “I live in Japan and nine out of 10 Japanese here know makgeolli as it is. Why are you trying to give it an English nickname when it is gradually gaining recognition?”

In response to the outcry, the ministry backed off, saying it won’t adopt the nickname after all, since “the event was meant to fan the makgeolli craze further among the general public,” according to a government official.

Instead, the Presidential Council on National Branding will come up with a simplified romanization of the word by the end of June, the official added, without providing details.

Why on earth they want to waste their time coming up with an alternate to the already well-established romanization systems, Fatman does not wish to know.  We’re exhausted with all the tomfoolery already.   But three cheers for the Netizens!

ORIGINAL POST:

Dear God, have mercy on us all.  Whoever is behind this deserves a mighty smiting.

Makgeolli is henceforth to be known as “Drunken Rice.”

This is so many shades of wrong Fatman doesn’t even know where to begin.  The Ministry of Food, Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries (MOFAFF) apparently thinks that a) foreigners (read here, westerners) are stupid and b) this will make it easy for those poor stupid foreigners.

Why is this such a dumb idea?  Let us count the ways:

• First, the name fails at the most basic level by failing to communicate that the item at hand is a drink.  Seriously, “drunken rice” indicates that it is in fact, some kind of rice.  That would be FOOD.   Y’know, chopsticks/knife and fork/fingers as major route to consumption, instead of something you drink from a cup.  Kind of a big difference. Furthermore, there’s already a well known Chinese dish called “drunken chicken” so we’re even further away from communicating to non-Koreans what the hell 막걸리 actually is.  Epic, EPIC FAIL!
• The fact that the new nickname is in (bad) English just demonstrates that the agencies involved are too wrapped up in marketing to western tourists, despite the fact that a huge hunk of the people who clamor for Korean food products and come here for tourism are other Asians.  The biggest current market for makgeolli outside Korea is . . . Japan.  And you know what name the drink is known under there?  The drink that has seen a major expansion of its market there?  マッコリ。 Makkori,  i.e. the same exact word.  Somehow, Fatman doesn’t think they’re thinking of the Japanese and their lust for ドファンケンライス (doraanken raisu)。
• The Korean word is too hard for those poor stupid white foreigners and their too long-tongues?  Because if we look at the vast variety of foods with foreign origins floating around America, Canada, England, etc., you’ll see that the vast majority have retained their original, non-English names.  Pizza, sushi, pad thai, ratatouille, pho, masala, schnitzel, challa, borsch, tangine . . . all of these have distinctly non-English names, and oftentimes non-obvious pronunciations for monolingual English speakers.  And yet, nobody is trying to give them “easier” pronunciations (ala “topokki” instead of ddeokpokki) or fake names that somebody just made up to be cute and patronizing.
• There’s a reason for that ~ If you head to a restaurant in France and ask for “Rat Yummy” they’re not going to have a clue what you mean.  And Fatman is willing to bet that if a tourist shows up and asks around for where they can get “drunken rice,”  nobody is going to know what on earth they’re after.  Yes, “makgeolli” may be a bit hard for your average foreigner to figure out how to say by looking at the word in a guide book.  But they’ll still get a heck of a lot further with a badly pronounced “mack-goaly” than they will with “drunken rice.”  Koreans have been calling it 막걸리 for quite some time now, and Fatman doesn’t think the local population is expected to make this switch, so what’s the point?  It does no good to teach foreigners to use a word Koreans don’t know, use, or understand.

This is obviously something that has not been thought out through all the way.  The problem is that Korea can’t afford to keep making these kinds of flubs as it tries to market itself internationally.  There needs to be a real, serious consideration of what people mean when they talk about globalizing Korean food.  Right now, the phrase gets tossed around and used for bigwigs to fund ridiculous projects that make it look like they’re doing something grand when they’re not.  But in the end, nobody has reallyconcientiously worked through what Koreans actually hope to gain from globalizing their cuisine, and what this means in concrete terms.  Until the government and associated agencies really put some thought into this, we’re going to continue to see silly, empty gestures like this.

Many people are familiar with the Levantine favorite, tabbouleh. This mezza is traditionally made with some combination of parsley, mint, spring onion, tomato, and bulgar and dressed with olive oil and lemon juice for a refreshing salad. You can make an equally refreshing but heartier salad from local, indigenous ingredients here in Korea with just a little bit of flexibility and ingredient innovation.

Fatman suggests you pull together the following:

• two cups of barley (보리)
• a few green onions (파)
• a clove of garlic (마늘)
• the smallest bag or box of cherry tomatoes you can get away with at your local mart or market (방울 토마토) . . . unless you really like tomatoes.  If that’s the case, then get more!
• a great honkin’ fistful of perilla/sesame leaves (깻잎) ~ if you’re really lucky, your local market will have the fresh, tiny first leaves.
• olive oil
• a lemon or two
• salt, pepper, and a little bit of hot pepper powder (고추가루)

First, treat that barley like you would rice, and throw it in the rice cooker to steam.  Timing is totally non-essential here, and you can do it the night before if you’re a go-getter who likes to have it all planned.  Do give the barley a little bit of time to cool down . . . you want it warm, but not hot.

Meanwhile, start quartering those cherry tomatoes and chiffonading the perilla leaves.  Then, put them all together in a pile and give ‘em a few extra whacks with your knife,  just to be sadistic.   Toss ‘em in a big bowl.

Now,  chop your green onion as finely as you can manage.  Then, give your garlic a good slap with the side of your knife and start chopping up the poor, pathetic garlic corpse as finely as you can.  Toss them both in with the tomatoes and the leaves.

When your barley is down/up to a sort of warmish temperature, toss it in with everything else.  Now, give it a toss.  Ok, now give it another one.  Good.

Take your olive oil and douse everything.  Treat it with complete abandon and splash it around like it costs you nothing, instead of the ridiculous price you paid at Shinsaegae Department Store because you’re an olive oil snob.  Give it a toss.  Take out your financial frustrations by slicing a lemon (or two) in half and squeezing the life out of it over your salad.  Toss.  Finally, salt, pepper, and gochukaru to taste.

Voila!  It’s . . . Korbouleh!

맛있게 드세요!

Hanjeongshik (한정식) is hands down the best and most efficient way to get a wide variety of the freshest, most seasonal foods. In one single meal, you’ll get a spread that covers the forests and fields and farms’ very best, often prepared using family recipes. It’s a little more spendy, perhaps, than your typical abbreviated lunch menus, but there’s no better way to experience the real depth of Korean food than to sit down at one of these meals.

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Note:  A version of this review appeared in the December issue of Groove Magazine.

Places to drink in Seoul tend to fall into discrete categories:  The chicken hof, the trendy cocktail bar, the neighborhood beer pub . . . looking for something outside these is often a challenge, and there’s a dearth of mid-range pubs in particular.  Trying to find something sophisticated that won’t break the bank, or a place that serves a decent range of food and drink is not an easy task in Seoul, where atmosphere comes only at a price, and restaurants and bars usually have specialized and narrow menus.

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Fatman often briefly thinks about doing more reviews of Lotteria’s uniquely Koreanized take on fast food,  but Hwarangi at A long time ago when a tiger smoked a cigarette . . . (whew!  even the abbeviated ALTAWAT is a mouthful!) seems to have done it already . . . Go checkout her review of the new Red and White Burger, and  . . . well, just about everything else on their menu.  See how Lotteria will lead the future of Hanshik!

There’s all kinds of culinary arguments to be made about what style of Korean cuisine reigns supreme: Are you a fan of the salty, spicy zest of Gyeongbuk? Or do you love the down-home flavors and resourcefulness of Jeolla? Will you have nothing but the finest potatoes of Gangwon-do?

One style of Korean cuisine, however, is woefully unknown. Beyond 냉면, North Korean food is under-represented in the Seoul dining scene . . . which, when you think about it, is really, really weird. Why? Indigenous Seoul-cuisine used to be much closer to what you’d get in Gaesong than what you’d get in Gwangju. If you’re craving your own taste of North Korea, you won’t be able to do much better than the delicious home-style cuisine of 처가집 (Cheogajip).
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Tip o’ the fat hat to Paul Ajossi

There’s plenty of fancy food in Seoul, if that’s what you’re looking for.  You can find everything from high end hanjeongshik (한정식) to absolutely authentic Japanese food.  But sometimes you want something humble . . . something gut filling and hearty and without any pretentions whatsoever.  Sometimes you just want the old-fashioned taste and satisfaction you can only get from the kinds of foods your dad would pack in your lunchbox or your mom would cook up for dinner.

In other words, sometimes you want a big ol’ slab of donggasu like the one from Namsan Wang Donggasu (남산 왕 돈까스)!

Nowadays trendy Japanese donkatsu brands tend to dominate the market, selling thick, juicy slabs of pork that has been panko-breaded and fried to a delicate crispiness.  They accompany it with finely seasoned sauces and freshly grated sesame seeds on top.

This is delicious, but it’s never going to satisfy your hankering for old-style Korean cutlets, pounded thin and coated in a heavier, crunchier batter.  “Wang” style cuts, like the ones at Namsan Wang Donggasu, are a serious piece of meat.  A single cutlet is large enough to cover a very, very large plate.  Imagine a slice of pork the size of your head – now pound it out thin and flat, and you’ve got a vague idea of what kind of mosterous meat awaits you here.

There’s not a lot of frills here. The plates and flatware are the cheapest of the standard plastic and aluminum settings you see in most low-end Korean restaurants. The only side dishes you get are some token pieces of kimchi, radish, and peppers. For a starter you get a bowl of wan cream soup that is obviously not from scratch.

But you’re not going to go eat at Namsan Wang Donggasu for that ~ you’re going to go because they serve you a giant piece of meat the size of a hubcap, and because they don’t mince around with much else. If you’re not there for the cutlet, there’s very few options: You can try your fork at the fish cutlets, which are ok, but definitely not the main show. There’s also a few jjigae on the menu, but nobody seems to order them . . .

What everyone is here for is food that is straightforward. It’s not the biggest taste revelation you’ll ever experience. The sauces are canned, the soups are powdered, and there’s really not much to choose from. But it isn’t trying to be anything more that what it is: A giant piece of fried meat . . .simple, cheap, and filling. And really, isn’t that good enough?

There’s lots of Namsan Wang Donggasu places around Seoul, but if you really want your nostalgia fix, you’re going to have to climb partway up Namsan. Just past the cartoon museum you’ll find a whole row of cutlet houses, most of which sell almost the exact same food, to be frank. But that’s ok ~ it’s a brush with a piece of culinary history that’s having a hard time competing with gussied up modern versions. Besides, once you’ve hiked Namsan, won’t you need those calories anyway? The standard cutlet costs a mere 6,500 won, with cheese, curry, and spicy versions ringing up at no more than 1000 won more. Fatman can’t think of a better way to finish off a Namsan hike!

It’s been a hard decision to make, but Fatman finally has to listen to our concience.  It’s been bothering us for a long time, but we’ve thought it over and are happy with our choice.

FatManSeoul is going vegan!

That’s right . . . there will be no more of this:

or this:

and certainly none of this:

But you will be seeing a lot more of this:

and this:

and this:

God knows, this will never cross our plate again! Just looking at it gives us the willies:

So be prepared to eat your veggies as we re-brand ourselves . . . check this space soon for VegManSeoul!

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